Daily life before:

“I was working, walking, not eating, not sleeping well/nightmares every night. “I felt like I was going crazy

“I was coping with anxiety on my own…I wasn’t going to be able to keep the lid on it”…I need help…couldn’t go into a one on one with my boss.”

“I saw how much pain I had with my dad and concerned about how that impact relationship with spouse.”

“ I was crying a lot, didn’t want to go to work, shutting down overwhelmed, gaining weight.

I was ambitious and work/success driven..caused me a lot of stress, stress related to relationships and the longing for one, family stuff that I wasn’t dealing with and avoiding family stuff as much as I could. I came because I was struggling with eating/food and a lot of body image things. I finally realized that “I’m tired of this and am not sure it’s healthy…maybe others don’t struggle with this as much as I do?” Got to a point of realizing and being fed up with the stress that food caused me…a lot of emotional eating, over exercising and food felt out of control, using it to numb things…and a lot of shame (“I’m on a binge again” )  Going grocery shopping was even stressful.  Am I going to get it, if I do, I’m going to eat all of it, but if I don’t, I’m going to be thinking about it and wishing I did.

Hopes and expectations:

I was looking for therapy, not a preacher in disguise..

Wanted to work with anxiety

Wanted to be safe in terms of exploring faith with a counselor..I was depressed and knew I needed help..want to run from Christians and at the same time looking for someone who was safe to explore faith.

First mtg/phone call:

Gentleness, felt supported and encouraged to have a safe place and also terrified to letting go and really feeling the emotions

“I remember thinking “this woman can help me.”

I saw your picture and read your description..and got to see that it might fit with a lot of things I want to work through

“Scary to make the call…felt relief upon meeting

Experience:

Warm, caring…(first session)…intelligent, interested in growing (personally and professionally), bringing in new developments, trusted me enough as a grounded person to introduce him to experiences outside their  comfort zone, “I knew you were going to be honest with me and call out stuff in a way that wasn’t shaming

Able to help me see another person’s point of view…in a way that I felt you were for me..talk about how I was part of the problem without shaming…you are in my corner, but  also holding me accountable, felt validated in their experience

Challenged by non-directive style and yet grateful for providing opportunity for self discovery and leadership

Graceful presence…I felt lighter after our meetings..some days I felt drained afterwards, but also felt relief.

Getting to know my emotions, connecting my inside emotions with God, became aware of the need for comfort.  Before therapy, comfort looked like food, once I connected comfort with God it loked different.”  Outside chaos doesn’t need to affect inside will-being “it’s OK to have emotions, cause that’s how God created me.”

Understanding my parts better, helped connect to God better. “what would God say to you in this moment?”

Turning point: visual of revisiting traumatic experience and discovering what God meant..an understanding that I never even thought of in my wildest dreams and a totally new concept that I never imagined was revealed to me..It freed me from it all. I felt like the Lord was active

Being in the office “gives me a resting place.” “I find it calming and peaceful” I feel like it’s an encounter with the Lord…I’m seeing things being revealed to me that are beyond my subconscious. I can really sense His presence when we do EMDR and imagery.

“Although it was hard sometimes in session, I always felt better afterwards.

I can’t do this on my own…

What’s changed:

I’ve been given a lot of tools to handle my anxiety on a holistic level, I’m more compassionate with myself and better at communicating what I need. I’m not as afraid to feel pain and have become more embracing of that.

My faith has been helped and focus on God and his strength,

“I feel mentally lighter. I don’t feel heavy anymore. I can talk to  people better than I used to. I can feel my emotions more deeply, not just surface stuff and getting rid of junk in my head.”

What’s my homework? I’ve been learning to check in with myself and becoming more aware of what’s going on inside and am able to work on the things where it feels like what’s next. I’ve been noticing more positive things with food. I’m noticing I can have a piece of chocolate and be done or be satisfied.

Most Helpful:

EMDR has helped bring up stuff I might not have been ready to talk about in a very gently way and safe space..helped rewire or create new pathways

IFS..”working with my parts has helped me work through things.  It helps regulate my emotions

Seeing things modeled and experienced.  “What does it mean to go inside and experience the parts. It would have seemed hokey, but I’ve learned I can do that on my own and it’s helpful.  Visualization/meditation is something I never would have imagined or been able to do, like imagining a burden being lifted off. I would never have been open to those…and seeing how it relates back to God, it’s been transformative in my relationship with God.

It helped that we took baby steps..you’ve never told me what to do..rather you’ve invited me into opportunities or trying something. I wasn’t pushed into the deep end..I could take baby steps

I felt like a strength, calm confidence from you that communicated trust in me to navigate and take responsibility for my…imparting a strength rather an absence (my mom wasn’t present, equipped or able)